Well then.

Z: So I guess we don't really talk anymore.

P: No, I guess not.

Z: For example, we're not actually having this conversation right now.

P: Yeah, I guess not.

Z: You know what it is, it's this distance thing. It makes people lose touch.

J: I haven't lost my touch. My touch is still pure magic. It's gold. It's fuckin golden petroleum, that's how valuable it is, and from the looks of the news, it's getting even MORE valuable!

P: No I know what you mean, this is a regular long distance relationship now.

Z: Or, you know, a long distance threesome.

J: ...with some important differences, Z.

P: I don't see any.

L: In Dey Ase!

Well then.

Z: So, I was going to say something.

L: Oh, don't let me interrupt you. How's everyone doing?

J: Good good, and you L.? We could do some sort of bonding activity.

P: You mean like play drink-and-examine-the-color-of-my-stomach-contents? No, I don't think I'm gonna partake.

Z: I don't know what you're talking about.

L: We could go to my house for dinner.

P: We could go to Vegas.

Z: We could go to Disneyland.

P: We could go on a cruise.

Z: Or, yeah, you know, like a...

J: Like a what?

Z: Never mind.

L: Not a gay cruise though.

P: Right, right, not because we're bigots, but because we are not gay. A family cruise would be fine. Or a cruise for young people who have a diverse array of backgrounds, including ethnicity, gender, and sexual orientation. Into which I would fit as the Portuguese, straight type.

J: So you don't really talk like that in real life, do you?

P: No, I really don't.

J: Sorry. So I guess there's one question remaining.

Which is?

J: When are you guys coming to visit Maine?